A Lifetime of Thank You's!

Read on the Wednesday, June 10th radio program.

Dearest Dr. Laura - Before anything happens to either one of us, I want to write to thank you for helping me navigate life’s challenges and curveballs for the past 25 years.

I found you when my husband and I—high school sweethearts and parents of two boys—were trying to divorce. I was raised by a bra-burning Gloria Steinem wannabe of a mother, so at first I found you obnoxiously offensive. But you represented the mother I so badly needed, so I imagine that’s why I continued listening.

My husband and I both came from divorced parents, both moved a lot and attended many schools, both were sexually assaulted, and both abused alcohol. You used to say, “Water finds its own level,” and boy, did we ever. We changed our wedding vows from “till death do us part” to “as long as our love shall last,” because we thought we were realists—ha!

I listened as you said divorce was only justified in cases of the “3 A’s”: addiction, abuse, or adultery. (See, I really listened!) Ours was not that, but I was so done and wanted out.

You said to be kind to one another. I was too angry to be nice. You said to be his girlfriend. No way was I doing that! Luckily, my husband was also listening to you. He changed his mind and didn’t want a divorce.

Long story short, we wrote our own “marriage contract” to include all the marriage deal-breakers. My list was long because he had so many things to fix. He wanted only one thing: sex once a week.

I kept listening and soon realized what a terrible wife I had been. He was miserable, which baffled me because he had a golf membership, a swimming pool, a motorcycle… He said he needed more from me, and I told him that between work and the kids, I had nothing left, so he should get in line. I kept listening, and it finally clicked.

I took him coffee in bed and sat with him one morning before the usual chaos. He got up and refilled our cups. We have done that every morning for 24 years and consider it one of the most cherished parts of our marriage. It was step one, and from there we found our way back to one another.

I had a few girlfriends also going through divorces, and I tried to “Dr. Laura” them, but they of course didn’t get it. It would take time for them, so they divorced anyway. One of them is in her third marriage, and I recently saw her name as a follower of yours on Facebook. She seems happy in this marriage, so I’m guessing you’ve helped her now too! 😊

There are so many other areas of my life where I have appreciated your insight and guidance—too many to mention here and none as valuable as saving my family. But I thank you for all of them.

You are such a blessing to so many. I’m so glad I had this chance to tell you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thanks,
Suzanne

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