The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Read on the Wednesday, April 29th radio program.
My name is Caitlin, and I’m a 40-year-old happily married mother of six.
I guess, in a way, I’ve been a lifelong fan of your show. I can remember being very young and hearing bits of it in the car. Most of the time, it was your commercials, and I always remember you laughing. I got it in my head that you were some kind of comedian.
Fast forward many years, and I was in a thrift store looking through the books. I found The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura, and I thought, “Oh! The funny doctor from the radio—this should be good.” I brought it home, put it on my shelf, and mostly forgot about it.
Another year or two went by, and I was reading The Edge of Nowhere by James Huntington. It’s an account of his life in Alaska, and there’s one part where he seeks shelter from a blizzard in an Eskimo village. He describes how each man in his group was attended to by an Eskimo woman who saw to their every need—and I do mean every need. He also talks about how, in their culture, girls are raised very thoroughly to be good wives.
It got me thinking about how our own culture often fails at this. Even though I had a happy marriage, I often felt that I fell short when it came to intimacy. At that point, we had been married for 12 years and had five kids. My biggest struggle with my husband was how annoyed I felt by what I saw as his constant need for intimacy. I often avoided it and even dreaded it when I wasn’t in the mood.
Then the title of your book popped into my head, and I thought, that’s exactly the kind of book I need. I found it on my shelf, dusted it off, and cracked it open—still expecting some sort of comedic version of Chicken Soup for the Married Soul or something like that.
Needless to say, it changed my marriage! My husband was out of town at the time, and let me tell you—I gave him a homecoming he will never forget. Learning how to fully love him has no doubt helped us avoid bigger problems in the future.
I’ve been a devoted listener ever since, and you’ve helped me so much in other areas as well. Thank you for all you do in sharing your wisdom with the world. You’ve made a wonderful difference in my life, and I’m very grateful.
Sincerely,
Caitlin
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